Sunday, August 27, 2006

Loneliness

Loneliness, a word familiar to us and many has endured. I read an interesting material by Max Lucado that reflects my 17 years wondering in the wilderness though I accept Christ at a young age of 13. I never have any relationship with Jesus till I hit rock bottom 3 years ago. Here the story goes...

Godwyn's struggles weren't unusual. He was the paragon of the confused human being. Half of his life was fantasy, half was nightmare. He was not a social outcast. He was respectable. He hosted parties. He wore designer clothes & had an apartment that overlooked a World class casino. Though surrounded by people, he was on an island. Though he had many acquaintances, he had few friends. Though he has many lovers, he had little love. Godwyn felt so old. Unloved. Unwanted. Abandoned. Used up. He wants to cry & sleep forever...

Loneliness. It's a cry. A moan, a wail. It's a gasp whose origin is the recessed of our souls. Can you hear it? The abandoned child. The divorcee. The quiet home. The empty mailbox. The long days. The longer nights. A one-night stand. A forgotten birthday. A silent mobile phone. Cries of loneliness. Listen again. Tune out the traffic & turn down the TV. The cry is here. Our cities are full of Godwyns. You can hear their cries. You can hear them in the convalescent home among the sighs & the shuffling feet. You can hear them in the prisons among the moans of shame & the calls for mercy.

This moan is a minor key knows all spectrums of society. From the top to the bottom. From the failures to the famous. From the poor to the rich. From the married to the single. Godwyn was not alone. Many of you have been spared this cruel cry. Oh, you have been homesick or upset a time or two. But despair? Far from it. Suicide? Of course not. Be thankful that it hasn't knocked on your door. Pray that it never will. If you have yet to fight this battle, you are welcome to read on if you wish, but I'm really writing to someone else...

I am writing to those who know this cry firsthand. I'm writing to those of you whose days are book ended with broken hearts and long evenings. I am writing to those of you who can find a lonely person simply by looking in the mirror. For you, loneliness is a way of life. The sleepless nights. The lonely bed. The distrust. The fear of tomorrow. The unending hurt. When did it begin? In your childhood? At the divorce? At retirement? At the cemetery? When the kinds left home?

None knows that you are lonely. On the outside you are packaged perfectly. Your smile is quick. Your job is stable. Your clothes are sharp. Your waist is thin. Your calendar is full. Your walk brisk. Your talk impressive. But when you look into the mirror, you fool no one. When you are alone, the duplicity ceases & the pain surfaces...

The most gut-wrenching cry of loneliness in history came not from a prisoner or a widow or a patient or Godwyn. It came from a hill, from a cross, from a Messiah. "My God, my God," He screamed, "Why did you abandon me!" Never have words carried so much hurt. Never has one being been so lonely. And now on Skull's hill, the sin bearer is again alone. Every lie ever told, every object ever converted, every promise ever broken is on His shoulders. He is sin...

God looks away. The despair is darker than the sky. The two have been one are now two. Jesus, who had been with God for eternity is now alone. The Christ, who was an expression of God, is abandoned. The Trinity is dismantled. The Godhead is disjointed. The unity is dissolved. It is more Jesus can take. He withstood the beatings & remained strong at the mock trials. He watched in silence as those He loved ran away. He did not retaliate when the insults were hurled nor did He scream when the nails pierced His wrists. But when God turned His head, that was more than He could handle.

"My God!" The wail rises from parched lips. The holy heart is broken. The sin bearer screams as He wanders in the eternal wasteland. Out of the silent sky come the words screamed by all who walk in the desert of loneliness. "Why? Why did you abandon me?" Sounds familiar some how? I can't understand it. I honestly cannot. Why did Jesus do it? Oh, I know, I know. I have heard the official answers. "To gratify the old law." "To fulfill prophecy." And these answers are right. They are. But there is something more here. Something very compassionate. Something yearning. Something personal...

I kept thinking of all the people who cast despairing eyes toward the dark heavens & cry "Why?" And I imagine Him I imagine Him listening. I picture His eyes misting & a pierced hand brushing away a tear. And although He may offer no answer, although He may solve no dilemma, although the question may freeze painfully in midair, He who also was once alone, understands.

Yet know this, Christ did this so that He can say, "I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you!" Heb 13:5 [NASB] "I am the same yesterday & today forever!" Heb 13:8 [NASB]

P:S Please Pray With Us [29 August 2006]

My younger sister, Joyce had been admitted to the hospital [Doctor said it might take at least one week or more to diagnose], for her long-standing problems that many doctors could not diagnose.

She is at a gentle age of 16 but had gone through innumerable pain at various medical Institutions. Please pray for the Lord's wisdom to be anointed with the doctors examining her, in receipt of the cause of the medical issue, unravel her misery once & for all.


The fact: She was hospitalized. The Truth: The Lord had healed her on the cross! Amen?!

In 1st John 4:17 [NASB] says, "...He is, so also are we in this World." Jesus is perfectly well, so also is Joyce [We] in this World! Amen?!

Inspired By:

Max Lucado

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Abandoned

The week before where I was down with gastric flu, I felt 'abandoned' as no one was at home. Parents were off for functions & my siblings were busy with their church activities. The complete quietness was deafening...

Abandoned by family? Abandoned by a spouse? Abandoned by big business. But nothing compares to being abandoned by God. On the Cross, Jesus cried out a loud shout, "Eli Eli, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" that is, "My God my God Why Have You Forsaken me?" [Matt 27:46 NASB] Our Father in Heaven abandoned His Only Son [Earth's only sinless soul] so that we can live through eternity! God loves sinners but hate sins, thus Jesus was the only way out for our salvation! Oh how Great is our God Amen?!

Abandon. The house that no one wants. The child no one claims. The parent no one remembers. The Savior no one understands. He pierces the darkness with heaven's loneliest question: "My God, My God, Why did you abandon me?"

In this hour Jesus is anything but righteous. But His mistakes aren't His own. "Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross so we would stop living for sin & start living for what is right" [1 Peter 2:25 NCV] Christ called all our sins in His body...

May I get specific for a moment? May I talk about sin? Dare I remind you & me our past is laced with outbursts of anger, stained with night of godless passion, & spotted with undiluted greed? Suppose your past was made public? Suppose you were to stand on a stage while a film of every secret & selfish second was projected on the screen behind you?

Would you not crawl beneath the rug? Would you not scream for Heavens to have mercy? And would you not feel just a fraction...just a fraction of what Jesus felt on the cross? The icey displeasure of Sin-Hating God?

Jesus carried all our sins in His body...See Jesus on the cross? That's a gossiper hanging there. See Jesus? Embezzler. Liar. Bigot. See the crucified carpenter? He's a wife Beater. Porn addict & murderer. See Bethlehem's boy? Call Him by His other names - Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden. Hold it Godwyn, Don't you lump Jesus with evildoers. Don't you place His name in the same sentence with theirs! I didn't. He did. Indeed He did more. More than place His name in same sentence, He placed Himself in their place. And yours...

With hands nailed open, He invited Jesus,” Threat me as you would treat them!" And God did. In an act that broke the heart of the Father, yet honored the holiness of Heaven, sin-purging judgment flow over the sinless Son of the ages. The lamb of God who took away the sin of the World...

"My God, my God, why did you abandon me?" Why did Christ scream those words? So we'll never have to.

Inspired by:

Max Lucado

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Mattew 6

For days, I rest in pain being diagnosed firstly having irritable bowel, with a second review from the doctor that I am suffering from gastric flu. Quiet time with the Lord daily is my main source of enduring the physical pain while I have heaps to share but the pain kept me away from writing my new entry...it's not about me but all about Jesus as without Him, I am just an empty vessel that makes the most noise...

Since the start of the day, Matthew 6:33 kept echoing in my mind, "But seek [aim at & strive after] first of all His kingdom & His righteousness [His way of doing & being right], & then all these things taken together will be given you besides.]" Matt 6:33 [Amplified Bible] The Lord said, Seek me first, I will give you all you need! Halleluiah! The next line read, "So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will have worries & anxieties of it's own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble." Matt 6:34 [Amplified Bible] I have been worrying about everything from family, friends to work. Yet the Lord said, Not to worry as we are the Children of Most High God Amen?! A good God who loves us not to base upon our obedience but the Grace of His son, Christ Jesus...

"Christ in you the hope of glory". "In that day you will know that I am in my father & you in Me, & I in you." John 14:20 NASB The Lord says, "I am" & that is the mystery of the gospel of...Christ Jesus

Jesus is in you & me! Christ is the force in you, & He will do what you cannot! Can't stop drinking? Christ can. And He lives within you. Can't stop worrying? Christ can. And He lives within you. Can't stop forgive the jerk, forget the past, or forsake your bad habits? Christ can! And He lives within you...With Christ in you, you have a million resources that you did not have before!

Through my short episode of physical trial, I realize one thing, God seems less interested in talent and more interested in trust. When we assist or resist, we miss God's great grace. We miss out the reason we were placed on earth. "I have been crucified with Christ; & it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; & the life which I now live in flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me & gave Himself up for me." Gal 2:20 [NASB]

My steps, but Christ leading. My heart, but His love beating in me, through me, with me. So much Him, so little of me that in my eyes it's Him they see. No Longer I, but Christ in me.

Inspired by:

Max lucado