Sunday, August 27, 2006

Loneliness

Loneliness, a word familiar to us and many has endured. I read an interesting material by Max Lucado that reflects my 17 years wondering in the wilderness though I accept Christ at a young age of 13. I never have any relationship with Jesus till I hit rock bottom 3 years ago. Here the story goes...

Godwyn's struggles weren't unusual. He was the paragon of the confused human being. Half of his life was fantasy, half was nightmare. He was not a social outcast. He was respectable. He hosted parties. He wore designer clothes & had an apartment that overlooked a World class casino. Though surrounded by people, he was on an island. Though he had many acquaintances, he had few friends. Though he has many lovers, he had little love. Godwyn felt so old. Unloved. Unwanted. Abandoned. Used up. He wants to cry & sleep forever...

Loneliness. It's a cry. A moan, a wail. It's a gasp whose origin is the recessed of our souls. Can you hear it? The abandoned child. The divorcee. The quiet home. The empty mailbox. The long days. The longer nights. A one-night stand. A forgotten birthday. A silent mobile phone. Cries of loneliness. Listen again. Tune out the traffic & turn down the TV. The cry is here. Our cities are full of Godwyns. You can hear their cries. You can hear them in the convalescent home among the sighs & the shuffling feet. You can hear them in the prisons among the moans of shame & the calls for mercy.

This moan is a minor key knows all spectrums of society. From the top to the bottom. From the failures to the famous. From the poor to the rich. From the married to the single. Godwyn was not alone. Many of you have been spared this cruel cry. Oh, you have been homesick or upset a time or two. But despair? Far from it. Suicide? Of course not. Be thankful that it hasn't knocked on your door. Pray that it never will. If you have yet to fight this battle, you are welcome to read on if you wish, but I'm really writing to someone else...

I am writing to those who know this cry firsthand. I'm writing to those of you whose days are book ended with broken hearts and long evenings. I am writing to those of you who can find a lonely person simply by looking in the mirror. For you, loneliness is a way of life. The sleepless nights. The lonely bed. The distrust. The fear of tomorrow. The unending hurt. When did it begin? In your childhood? At the divorce? At retirement? At the cemetery? When the kinds left home?

None knows that you are lonely. On the outside you are packaged perfectly. Your smile is quick. Your job is stable. Your clothes are sharp. Your waist is thin. Your calendar is full. Your walk brisk. Your talk impressive. But when you look into the mirror, you fool no one. When you are alone, the duplicity ceases & the pain surfaces...

The most gut-wrenching cry of loneliness in history came not from a prisoner or a widow or a patient or Godwyn. It came from a hill, from a cross, from a Messiah. "My God, my God," He screamed, "Why did you abandon me!" Never have words carried so much hurt. Never has one being been so lonely. And now on Skull's hill, the sin bearer is again alone. Every lie ever told, every object ever converted, every promise ever broken is on His shoulders. He is sin...

God looks away. The despair is darker than the sky. The two have been one are now two. Jesus, who had been with God for eternity is now alone. The Christ, who was an expression of God, is abandoned. The Trinity is dismantled. The Godhead is disjointed. The unity is dissolved. It is more Jesus can take. He withstood the beatings & remained strong at the mock trials. He watched in silence as those He loved ran away. He did not retaliate when the insults were hurled nor did He scream when the nails pierced His wrists. But when God turned His head, that was more than He could handle.

"My God!" The wail rises from parched lips. The holy heart is broken. The sin bearer screams as He wanders in the eternal wasteland. Out of the silent sky come the words screamed by all who walk in the desert of loneliness. "Why? Why did you abandon me?" Sounds familiar some how? I can't understand it. I honestly cannot. Why did Jesus do it? Oh, I know, I know. I have heard the official answers. "To gratify the old law." "To fulfill prophecy." And these answers are right. They are. But there is something more here. Something very compassionate. Something yearning. Something personal...

I kept thinking of all the people who cast despairing eyes toward the dark heavens & cry "Why?" And I imagine Him I imagine Him listening. I picture His eyes misting & a pierced hand brushing away a tear. And although He may offer no answer, although He may solve no dilemma, although the question may freeze painfully in midair, He who also was once alone, understands.

Yet know this, Christ did this so that He can say, "I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you!" Heb 13:5 [NASB] "I am the same yesterday & today forever!" Heb 13:8 [NASB]

P:S Please Pray With Us [29 August 2006]

My younger sister, Joyce had been admitted to the hospital [Doctor said it might take at least one week or more to diagnose], for her long-standing problems that many doctors could not diagnose.

She is at a gentle age of 16 but had gone through innumerable pain at various medical Institutions. Please pray for the Lord's wisdom to be anointed with the doctors examining her, in receipt of the cause of the medical issue, unravel her misery once & for all.


The fact: She was hospitalized. The Truth: The Lord had healed her on the cross! Amen?!

In 1st John 4:17 [NASB] says, "...He is, so also are we in this World." Jesus is perfectly well, so also is Joyce [We] in this World! Amen?!

Inspired By:

Max Lucado

31 comments:

alegna said...

nice thoughts.how ols were you when you when you realised what you wrote here?

jel said...

All that i can say is Powerful!




God bless you !

huggs

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Janice,

Thank you for your always encouraging compliments:-)

Yesterday, I brought my younger sister for medical examination.

The doctor had to hospitalize my sister for at least a week! I had wrote the minor details on my blog:-)

Please pray with us:-) God Bless!

jel said...

Brother, you know I will,


she is in God's hands ,

audrey` said...

Hi brother
How is your sister?
Take care.
God is listening.

Julie said...

Hey Godwyn,

Will pray for your sister, got you a postcard from here.

=)

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Janice:-)

Thank you for being so supportive:-) I know you always pray for my family.

I really hope one day I can travel from Singapore to the States, go fishing & have cheese cake at your farm!

That's my dream holiday. What I had written in this entry is about my past life, very recent, very real, it is this fact that brought me so close to Jesus.

I know there's only one way in my life => Christ, Jesus

Be Bless!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Audrey, various specialist doctors are activated to diagnose my sister at this moment.

Daily painful blood test, X-rays & many more. Joyce is yet brave, I am reducing my workload to spend more time with her.

I really pray that the physicians can find the source of her medical issue. I wrote an entry about her a few month back. I do not know if you had read it:-) It's in the archive.

The feeling of knowing someone you love being sick is never good but such are instances where Christ Jesus step in & show His eternal Glory, enhancing a testimony, letting all about He is the true God, the Great God who is the master of our creation!

Have a good week ahead:-)

Godwyn Lim said...

Hey Julie,

I sms you, did you receive it or is a different system in Paris?

Enjoying your work so far? Take good care of yourself with your asthma ya:-)

Just a post card to make me envy you where I have no time for holidays rite! :-)

Thank you for your kind words & prayer, much needed here for the break through!

God Speed:-)

Kitty Cheng said...

Dear Godwyn, I am so touched by your post....may God heal your sister with His mighty hands. Will keep you and your sister in prayers.

(((hugs))) Jesus loves you and so do I!

audrey` said...

Hi brother
Still praying for you and your sister...
You're a very dedicated and loving brother to Joyce. Well done.
Continue to trust God, k?
Take care.

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Kitty, thank you for sharing with me about the post! I think you can relate to what I wrote especially the part about the apartment over-looking the World Class Casino:-)

Surely the Lord had healed my sister. Thank you for your prayer! Have a good week ahead!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Audrey, thank you for checking out on me providing the daily caring words at this stress moment, yet I know it will come to a past...

I had not been a good brother to Joyce for many years. As our age gap is wide, we seldom communicate & I 'abandoned' my family 7 long years by staying in Australia, being selfish & insolent. I never really care for my family, it is always me, myself & Godwyn.

The power of Christ Jesus is so great! The way He transformed me, many who knew me in the past can never think it will happen. The Lord show me the light when I was living in darkness, The Lord show me the way when I do not have any way to go...Christ is just such a beautiful & caring God!

God Bless!

jel said...

I'm Glad that he showed you the way! :)

audrey` said...

God is taking very good care of you, brother :)
Continue to lean on Him, k?

Anonymous said...

Godwyn,

Sorry, expensive lah sms. Is your sister better? SMS me your address. Will send the postcard from here.

I am good over here. Weather is great.

God Bless!
Julie

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Janice, Jesus is the way, the truth & the life Amen?!

He show US the way, everyone of us precious to our Daddy in Heaven.:-)

Have a good weekend ahead! God Bless!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Audrey, I'm doing so, His yoke is light:-)

We are a child of most high God Amen?!

Surely He will never forsake us or abandon us in ALL of our life!

Have a good weekend ahead!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Julie,

SMS Ex? Nah it's quite afforable! I text you my addies already.

Thanks for praying she is better but need to have more tests done to diagnose.

Pray for your journey mercy when your return ya! Catch up with you soon! God Bless:-)

Gordon Cloud said...

Powerful article. I pray that your sister gets better soon.

jel said...

dear brother godwyn,

how is your sister, and how are you doing !

take care God bless

(((huggs)))

audrey` said...

How is your sis, brother?
How are the results of all the tests done by her doctors?

Godwyn Lim said...

Hi Brother Gordon,

Thank you for your surfing my blog with such a kind compliment. The glory is to our Lord Christ Jesus, Amen?!

Thank you for your prayer, I'm sure the Lord hear our prayers & He is doing miracles in the aspect of my sister's health.

Have a great week ahead!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Janice, *Hugs*, I'm fine just tired with work,issues in the family but I leave everything to Christ:-)

We can do everything through Christ Amen?! I miss today Church service as I had to attend some function last night in Malaysia just came back to Singapore in the evening!

Thanks for your care! May the Lord Keep you & Bless you!

Godwyn Lim said...

Dear Sister Audrey, my sister is back home as next week is school holidays. The doctors scheduled her for more test in the month of September.

Her pain is on & off, fainting spell as well, thus it is very hard to diagnose. Now, the doctors still could not narrow down to the root of the medical issue.

It is frustrating as these had been going on for more than a year. Yet, I have to learn to let go let God. I just do what I can do & believe nothing is impossible for God!

Thank you for your kind concerns, really appreciate it:-) Just pray, the Lord sends His words & Heal us Amen?!

Have a bless week!

audrey` said...

Yes!
Let go. Let God.
He's able :)

melinda m said...

G, you are awesome....I love your posts!! Your heart is a wonderful depiction of beauty! I Love your love for scripture!

I have experienced much despair. I believe many times it has been assignments sent from the enemy camp, but MY GOD is SOOOOO MUCH GREATER. He is the VICTORIOUS WARRIOR, MIGHTY GOD and KING of Kings, LORD of lords. So, it's been a wonderful journey of learning to find that deeper place of intimacy with the LOVER of my soul! You see, every time the enemy comes in like a flood, (through thoughts of depression, despair, suicidal thoughts, etc.) my JESUS raises up a standard against it! His banner over me is LOVE. I'm blessed to know of your blog.

Keep on keepin' on!
LOVE!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Audrey,

Yes!
Let go. Let God.
He's able :)

You had just refreshed me of a song, When I was 13, studying in a Christ Centered school:

He is able:

He is able, He is able.
I know He is able,
I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
He healed the broken hearted & He set the captive free. He made the lame to walk again & He made the blind to see.
He is able, He is able,

I know my Lord is able to carry me through.

Have a bless week ahead!

Godwyn Lim said...

Sister Melinda,

Praise the Lord! It's all about Him Amen?! I am so grateful for your encouragement that uplift me with sisters like Janice, Audrey & many whom love me heaps, just like how precious I am to Christ! I boast not how much I love Him but how much He loves Us Amen?!

The Son of Man, Prince of Peace, & we are the Child of Most High God!

"Indeed, all who desire to live Goldy in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." 2 Tim 3:12 [NASB] But this is TEMPORAL Our life is ETERNAL!

Your love for Christ is so great, I'm so glad to know you. Hope one of these days I can travel to praise God with you on your sunny beach!

Jesus is Above all Amen?!

audrey` said...

Christ centred school...
ACS?

HaHa!
Please pardon my kaypohness =)

Kitty Cheng said...

Brother Godwyn,like you, having apartment that overlooks a World class casino couldn't fullfil my life, only God is the One that gives us the love, joy and meaning in life.

Pray that your sis will get well soon dear.