What kept me going?

hi-

I read your blog and was uplifted. I was reading russel kelfer and decided to do a web search and found the complete preaching of russel kelfer in firefighters for christ.org. check it out- he's awsome and is really guided by the Holy Spirit.

ps I'm an american living in california

jerry

Dear Brother Jerry,

Thank you so much for your email, God is good Amen?! I will surf the russel Kelfer site. You know you just gave me encouragement, right time, right place as I was feeling down for weeks and questioning myself, why I 'waste' my time blogging? About God?! Good to know another Brother in Christ. I am from Singapore but I stay most of my life in Melbourne/Sydney! Thank you so much for your email.

Cheers,

Godwyn Lim

Agnostic...Are you one of them?

It is more than often I hear, "I'm Agnostic..." Pardon me, there is nothing wrong with such...F.Y.I 'Agnostic' is defined as a person who believes that nothing can be known about the existence of God or of anything except material things. [I look it up from my old Oxford Dictionary I use to carry, getting through my 'spelling' test, which is a total nitemare]

I couldn't get the Cab driver, but I will not give up as surely I want to share the goodness of God to him. I find that often, when we use God as our own purpose, we get disappointed and drift into this 'Agnostic mode'. Let's 'borrow' some words from the Bible, "Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leds us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." Give it a thought...

Dad had been suffering from mix Bio-Polar Disorder for months till we [mainly with the assistance with my younger brother to make it possible] manage to convince him to seek medical help. Dad often indulges in self-pity and the 'angel of death' bring thoughts to him, many a time, he wanted to end his life. 'Angel of death' is as real as we hate it to be, yet the knowing that 'it' is merely a creation of our father in Heaven, God is enough to know nothing can possible harm us when our faith dwells in Psalm 91, "...No Evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your tent...Because HE has loved Me..." a promise unlike from man, that will never cease to fail...

Tuesday morning, my brother came into my room and asked me to pray spiritually with him. I took my Bible and went into his room, we prayed for the Grace of God to heal the family, critically our Dad and our beloved little sister. Jesus said, 'When two or more are gathered, my presence will be felt..." In the Bible, it says 'The Armor of God', is the 'Sword of the Spirit..." The sword cut through the house with with our strong desire for 'shalom'; peace, health, wholeness and prosperity. We thank Jesus for his precious blood washing away our sins we carry and taking our heavy yoke of hoping our Dad and Sister to be well...it is a long prayer, nevertheless we did not stop till we feel the peace...

Surely the evil spirits left, yet it is the faith in them [Dad & Sis] that can keep them away from the Deception of the Devil as the 'roaring lion' seek to devour us daily...we can only pray for the truth that oppose the lies. I was thinking without God, does it makes sense? Do we come to this World by pure accident? The fellowship of Trinity; Thy Father, Thy Son and Thy Spirit constantly shows nothing but love...I would think though we are unique with our personality, each of us daily seems to seek our purpose of life and life must have some profound meaning rather than the doses of material needs...

Rick Warren captured much of my attention when he wrote about 'What drive life?". Many of us are driven by guilt and I am one of them. I spend my life running from regrets and allowing my past to control my future. I simply fail to realize I can do amazing things. Many of us are driven by resentment and anger as I hold hurts on me and never seem to get over them. "Resentment always hurt you more than it does the person you resent...Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment." I realize I am progressively letting it go and learning from it, unconsciously till I read the lines...

I know people who spent most of their life driven by materialism with the drive to have more and having more does not seem to make them happy, on the contrary, such makes one insecure and possesions only provide temporay happiness. "Fear is a self-imposed prison that keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be." I found myself building my own prison and realizing, true wealth is something that can never be taken away from us, store deeply in our heart; Love with God. Do you live on the expectations of others? Driven by parents, spouses or 'mentor' in our life? Are you often worried by what others might think? It is true the main key of failure is to try to please everyone but The Lord says, "No one can serve two masters."

All these seem to be common sense to you and me, yet we make these mistakes daily, living a life driven by fear, material wealth, expectations, resentment and guilt. "The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose." Stress, conflict and fatigue often seems to be claimed by our delusion as we try the impossible of pleasing everyone daily.

I do not know about you but I want to find my purpose in life and these days, what matters to me most is what God says, who cares what others say? It is God who gave me life...I find it really hard to be agnostic...at times, the irony does set in.

"But He said, "The things that are impossible with people are possible with God." Luke 18:27

Nocturnal Animal

Time never seem to be enough when one is busy with doing things with 'no' purpose...what I meant by 'no' is having no self-purpose but allowing the spirit to lead u by God. I love my parents but there are times I simply cannot put up with them. Ever had such thoughts?...

There's this poem by Russel Kelfer, I read years ago, I found a few days back, in Rick Warren's book. It makes more sense and I came to conclusion that Russel is right about many things in his summary of his poem, including the way we can accept our parents...Let's review it.

Poem:

You are who you are for a reason. [What reason?]
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
[God gave his only son to insolent fools, called 'human'! God surely loves us heaps.]

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make. [Why do we still go for plastic Surgery?]

The parents you had were the ones he chose, [Just remind yourself this, I am going so now!]
And no matter how you may feel, [God must have his reasons for the parents we have.]
They were customed-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, the trauma you faces was not easy. [who says life is easy? Then again, I do enjoy life.]
And God wept that it hurt you so; [I believe so, I am relieve]
But it was allowed to shape your heart [Amen, surely he shapes yours & mine]
So that into his likeness you'd grow. [Cliche of 'slowly but surely']

You are who you are for a reason, [What reason? I am still exploring...]
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved, [Amen, God really love us!]
Because there is a God!

I was rushing for time, I took a cab. The cab driver spoke quite a fair bit while I was busy smsing...we spoke about investment and I told him REITs [Real Estate Investment Trusts] might do him good. Near to the end of the trip, he asked me if I have a family, I laughed and told him I am happy to be single. It was then I knew he was single and 40 of age as his wife pass away with cancer...

Reality checked kicked in and I was so glad I am alive. I was loss for words except my deep sympathy for him. He told me he wanted to be single and my heart ache as I knew he must have miss her heaps. Staring at the receipt minutes after the conversation, I knew that I found a new friend. I would trace him later in the day and hope to share God's love with him as he seems 'as good as being dead...' not that I am better off...I believe with Lord's strength, everything is possible...

In the evening, the goggle box were blasting with awareness about breast cancer and possible cure of cancer even in late stages. I realize I am more than 'lucky' to be alive. What save me is Pastor's Lawrence constant reminder of "Godwyn, Jesus loves you." It just echoed in my ears then as I wondered why my day ended with cancer...cancer...cancer...from the cab driver to the awareness ads...

Love of God is powerful. It is the awareness of Jesus's love, by his stripes I am healed and such twist a life without hope and cure...to victorious healing. There were no complicated formulae or miracle drugs. His Grace brought me life and I am reminded again today, it is no accident I am alive..."I am born by his purpose and for his purpose"

Life is about letting God use us for his purposes, not us using him for our own purpose. Just like God has gave Pastor Lawrence 'special purposes' - imparting Grace and Love of Jesus saving many lives like mine...The song keep singing in my heart..."Jesus loves me this I know...as the Bible tells me so, Little ones to whom we belong, I am weak but he is STRONG!"

"Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purpose..."

Love Heaps - Godwyn

What on Earth Am I Here For?

Perhaps I am one of the last to know how cool the book, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren...grab one if u haven't as something must be good for over 20 million copies sold World wide...

Past few days are busy as usual, doing estate management and consultation from talents God gave since I the day I am born and daily blessings through Lord Jesus. It is not too bad basing 'Zero' aids from the family or anyone to maintain financial freedom, just the good Grace from God!

Don't get me wrong, I haven't turn over the million dollars to return to Church. Yet, I slowly understand it is more than dollars for this million to be made and I know I am reaching the purpose soon and return to the wonderful every services I look forward in the past! Many think my thinking of this 'calling' is ridiculous and some thought I merely want to escape from Church or to avoid the people! A 'calling' is merely a test God provides to transform and shape our ways...my million dollars is the way God wants me to see my purpose of life...

If you yet to notice, I had left the Church nearly a year to come, 'feeding' on books and sermons to keep the faith through words of God. I do not encourage anyone to do so, as it is tedious, trust me, you will be better off attending Church services with your Pastors [they are our full time teachers of God's Grace & Love] 'feeding' you on God's words and aid to shape your journey with God. Why such happen to me and how can I justify it is a 'calling', who cares? I used to care and in my family, when we have dispute on faith, they will say what makes you better off not attending Church! Mainly, it is the Grace message, sadly many have not understand. The power of Grace is the fear of the Devil...thus, Grace is often mis-represented than faith or righteousness!

I get to learn, things I feel 'funny', with interaction with other brothers and sisters from many Churches in Singapore, for an example, one warn me not to pray in spirit unless I know what I am talking about, we have to 'beg' God for all mercy, the last supper is a ritual etc...heaps of belief that I can't find in the Bible. As for my family, I love them and I will try to correct them, stupid as it is 'self-effort'! Then, I learn to pray and leave it to God and praise Jesus for showing me THE WAY of life.

Oh that book by Rick, we are supposed to read one chapter per day and I am hungry for it as one chapter is NOT enough for me! It is the first time I do such as with books, when I fall it love with 'it', the romances will never end...Let me share with you some wonderful things that I am reading, at the same time, it is happening at this instant in my life.

The way we see our life, shapes our life! How we define life determines our destiny. Our perspective will influence how we invest our time, spend our money, use our talents and value our relationships. For instance, if we see life as a battle or a game, winning will be very important to us. [Oh I am in this for years! I am trying to get out of such ways!] If we see life as a race, we will value speed and will probably be in a hurry much of the time.

The Bible says, "Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God." We are always tested like characters in the Bible, God constantly watches our response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disppointment, and even weather! In his own life, he has noticed that God tests his faith through problems, tests his hope by how he handle posessions, and tests his love through people.

Everyday is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepend our character, to demostrate love, or to depend on God. The good news is that God wants us to pass the tests of life, so he never allows the tests you face to be greater than the grace he gives us to hanfle them. The Bibles says, "God keeps his promise, and he will not let you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out."

Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him, and for many people, money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are. The Bible says, "If you are untrustworthy about worldy wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven."

It's too long! Cut short, else nonone will spend time to read, Godwyn! k, end with some cool verses:

"For everyting, absolutely everything above and below, visible and invisible...everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him ." Colossians 1:16

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2

Time to spend time with the Lord! God is always Good, it is our thoughts that make things seem bad...Godwyn

What have been happening?

It's been nearly a month since I write. My human excuses:

a. Sister went for another operation - I get the pain & agony!
b. Spilt belief in family for God's words - Just pray then!
c. Work - oh don't you use that excuse?
d. I thought I better read more to fight the Devil - Turn out I am wrong!

Writing seems like an obligation for this month with so many happening, I wonder where is God? I dig into books and Bible finding truths for healing, hoping to share my sister's pain while she thinks I am a pain in her ass.

I take communion with my medication daily and thank Jesus my sister is healed! Bad news came with her, needing an operation as the Devil wants me to think communion is 'bullshitz'. In my mind it spins, "Godwyn see how u declare, what is happening?"

Worst came when I share the wonders of communion to my family, time after time and they think, oh it's just a ritual. Man, they witness my healing why aren't they believing? It seems like they believe it when I was like 'half-dead' recovering from my cancer and since my healing came in 'cheetah' speed, they took the healing for granted.

Oh, family is now divided with my mum, my sister and brother from a teaching of one Church and me and my Dad on "Grace" that transform me from New Creation. Dad is suffering from Bi-Polar Disorder so from time to time he switches 'side' ha! He has no insight of his illness though my brother tried to address him and I can readily get help from my Godpa, being a fantastic psychiatrist, he refuses!

A few days back, my mobile was stolen leading to more confusion. That's the summary for days of missing in writing...I love to write as sharing is loving! It came till the point I hate it! God speaks just and stop my nonsense with Devil's lies, WRITE! I wonder into the Rock with my monthly 'shopping' of books and sermons (2 days ago) to keep myself sliding off as I have yet to enjoy the comfort of returning back to Church where I miss the happy doses of 'live' sermon from Pastor Prince and all...I hang on with Micah, "Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall, I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me." Micah 7:8

Yet, all these while, God sends Angels around me, when I am down, strangely, one of the sister (sister Penny) SMS will always ring from my mobile! God is good Amen?! I will continue to share his wonders, he is doing in my life! Remember sister Irene? I didn't speak to her much but I know she is well as I haven't receive distress SMS from her when she was having her panic attacks. God does wonder in her life, she is in good health and the Devil is defeated! In my heart, I always amazed how God heals her while she continue to wonder how God quit my smoking within a night...

Short, Godwyn short! Share with you this verse as I finally found time to buy "The purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, shared by sister Irene. As I really need to understand "What on Earth Am I here For?"

"Two are better than one because they have a good return fo their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woes to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthemore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12.

Time to rest...Share your wonders of God with me? (Just use the 'comments' function) I am sure God does good things for you, as Jesus love us!

Godwyn